The contents of these pages have been automatically translated into the selected language. Deviations from the contents of the original page are therefore possible.
Coming out
Information on the diversity of sexual orientations and references to counseling services
.
Coming out
When young people feel attracted to their own sex, it often takes a while before they talk about it with their parents. This time is not easy for young people and is often marked by self-doubt. After all, before they come out, they first have to become aware of their sexual orientation and gender identity in order to be able to talk about it openly. How you as a parent can support your child in this process, read this article.
LGBTIQ* briefly explained
The Diversity of Sexual Orientation
.
Heterosexual
People who are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to the opposite sex.
Homosexual
People who are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to the same sex.
Lesbian
Women who are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to women.
Gay
Men who are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to men.
Bisexual (also shortened to "bi")
People who are sexually and/or emotionally attracted to women and men.
Pansexual
People who love people regardless of their gender and are also sexually attracted to trans*, inter*, and non-binary people as well as to women and men.
Asexual
People who do not feel sexual attraction to any gender.
The Diversity of Gender Identity
.
Trans*
People perceive their biological sex as wrong and themselves as belonging to a different gender.
Inter*
This refers to people whose innate genetic, hormonal, or physical characteristics are neither exclusively "male" nor exclusively "female."
Queer
Queer is an open-ended term and positive self-designation that includes anyone whose appearance and/or behavior does not conform to heteronormative ideas.
Nonbinary
Nonbinary people do not feel that they are either women or men. Nonbinary is an umbrella term for different gender roles that do not want to fit into the binary recognized system of two gender categories.
Coming Out Questions
Sexuality is diverse. There are many variations, ranging from hetero- to homo-, bi- or pansexual to asexual. Overall, many people also locate themselves under the term queer. Some people know from the beginning that they are heterosexual, lesbian, gay or bisexual, others go through a longer, often difficult process during puberty or even later until they live their sexual orientation. Aspects of gender identity are also diverse. Here one speaks of trans* and inter* gender identity, in short trans* and inter*, as well as non-binary or also queer.
Puberty also involves finding out which gender you are attracted to. People with other orientations or gender identities often first go through a phase of inner coming out. During this time, they strongly come to terms with their sexual identity. This often takes place between the ages of 14 and 17. If a young person does not feel heterosexual, the question then arises as to whether or not he or she wants to go public with it. This is called coming out. More and more young people are being quite open about their sexual orientation. However, there are also people who come out only in certain areas of life or even not at all for fear of the reactions of their own family, friends and at school, as well as for fear of discrimination.
Even though you may have already suspected that your child is (also) attracted to people of the same sex or feels a different gender identity, coming out may cause you to worry or worry. Despite our open society, exclusion and discrimination still occur. It is quite normal for parents to want to protect their child from this. And it is also understandable if parents may need some time to understand and accept their child's coming out. In this case, only one thing is important: that you do not react negatively towards your child or try to question your child's sexual orientation or gender identity. Your child should be happy in life, completely independent of his or her sexual orientation or gender identity. With your understanding and loving guidance, you can do much to give your child the support he or she needs to achieve this.
It is certainly not an easy path that your child has taken to come out. Especially at the beginning, young people find it difficult to classify their feelings. This can lead to additional insecurities, fears and psychological stress during puberty. If your child has come out, he or she may encounter prejudice or rejection in the social environment. Classifying these experiences and developing strategies for dealing with them is a great challenge. If your child feels your love and their all-embracing acceptance, you give them additional security. A healthy sense of self-confidence will help them get through these situations positively as well.
Where can teens and parents find help?
In North Rhine-Westphalia, there are 6 counseling centers funded by the state for LGBTIQ* and their relatives (in Bochum, Dortmund, Cologne, Münster, Siegen and a mobile counseling center in the Lower Rhine/Western Ruhr area). The contact details can be found on the website of the Ministry for Children, Family, Refugees and Integration of the state of North Rhine-Westphalia. A nationwide counseling center finder is provided by the portal www.liebesleben.de. The Federal Anti-Discrimination Agency offers free advice at www.antidiskriminierungsstelle.de.
More informationLinks for further reading
On the Internet portal www.liebesleben.de parents and young people find a lot of information and tips for a coming out
On the Internet portal of www.liebesleben.de a guide for young people and a guide for parents with the topic "Sexual diversity and coming out" are available for free download
