During puberty, there can be heated arguments between parents and adolescents. This is completely normal. Discussions about going out, media use, alcohol consumption or the circle of friends are part of the process of cutting the cord. However, if living together as a family no longer works in the long term or the situation escalates completely, moving out of the parental home may be considered. Here you can find information on solutions and advice.

Sometimes it's about controlling or interfering, other times it's about neglected school, excessive gaming on the console or excessive partying at the weekend. More and more often, nerves are on edge, doors are slamming and arguments are getting louder and more heated. Conflicts between parents and children are not uncommon and the examples mentioned are just a few of many that can lead to ongoing discussions. However, when anger and accusations escalate and become increasingly hurtful, the entire family situation is under severe strain.

If the fronts are hardened and everyday life together is strongly characterized by conflict, a temporary or permanent move out may be helpful. Gaining some distance from each other and leaving the disputes of everyday family life behind can provide space to gradually come closer together again or at least work out solutions together on what a less conflict-laden parent-child relationship - whether under one roof or not - could look like.

Minors aged 16 and over may move out, but only with the express consent of their parents. This quickly raises the question of financing. The freedom-loving offspring may feel strong and independent enough to manage on their own, but the daughter or son is still financially dependent on their parents. In addition, adolescents do not have full legal capacity until their 18th birthday. This means that they need their parents' signature for a rental agreement and many other legal transactions. The conflict is therefore not so easy to resolve. All the next steps need to be carefully considered by both sides with all the consequences.

Perhaps there is another way to gain some distance before moving out for good, with major financial and family consequences. For example, by temporarily moving in with a family friend, aunt or grandparent.

What you need to know legally about children moving out can be found in this article on the Familienportal.NRW.

If children want to move out against their parents' will, the only way to do this is to go to the youth welfare office. This is because young people cannot simply move out of their home. Parents have a duty of care, and this includes the so-called right of residence for their child.

Moving out is therefore only possible in an emergency. This exception can be considered in particularly difficult family crisis situations, for example if the child's welfare is at risk. The youth welfare office can then obtain an order from the family court to withdraw the parents' right of residence.

This may be the case if the child is neglected, exposed to emotional violence or if there is physical violence, fisticuffs and fights within the family.

Typical arguments between parents and children of this age, such as going out, clothes, smoking, etc., are not sufficient reasons. In these cases, professional counseling can often help to mediate between parents and children.