Consequences of separation

What should you think about?

Text last updated: 2023-01-30

What to consider in the phase between separation and divorce

If living together no longer works and the relationship breaks down, this is a drastic event for everyone involved. Disappointment, pain and anger set in. Despite all the grief, the consequences of a separation must also be considered. Moving out, finances, maintenance issues, consequences for the children: how should everything be arranged?

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The following overview will help you to sort your thoughts.

1st phase: marital crisis

  • Search for ways to overcome the crisis, e.g.
    • at a family counseling center near you via the online counseling center guide
    • at a Caritas separation and divorce counseling service
    • at a pro familia separation and divorce counseling service
    • at a women's counseling center in NRW
  • Get advice on the consequences of separation and divorce
  • Examine the income and financial situation
  • Review all personal documents

2nd phase: separation

  • Complete separation of table and bed
  • Make an agreement about the marital home
  • Declare the date of separation with witnesses or in writing
  • Take personal documents with you when you move out (ID cards, birth and marriage certificates, work papers, bank contracts, insurance documents, certificates, bank statements, etc.)
  • Agreement on separation maintenance
  • Regulate visiting rights for the children
  • Regulate custody of the children
  • Consider tax changes

3rd phase: divorce petition

  • Submit divorce petition after the end of the year of separation
  • Revoke or amend an existing will or inheritance contract
  • Change entitlement to draw on life insurance policies

4th phase: Divorce

  • Clarify possible entitlement to post-marital maintenance
  • Consider the end of co-insurance in statutory health insurance and other insurances or - in the case of civil servants - the entitlement to benefits
  • Consider tax changes
  • Name change possible

Further information Further links

The Ministry of Justice provides detailed information on divorce proceedings and subsequent decisions.

Information in plain language on the topics of separation, divorce, custody and maintenance can also be found on the Ministry of Justice portal.

This video with explanatory text on the NRW justice portal explains everything you need to know about custody.

You can find out what you need to consider for tax purposes in the event of a divorce or dissolution of a registered civil partnership on the NRW tax authorities' website

Brochures:

The brochure "Separation and Divorce" from the Ministry of Justice provides an overview of divorce proceedings and other legal issues. You can download the PDF free of charge

You can download a separation guide free of charge from profamilia.

You can order the guide to contact after separation and divorce for a fee of 3 euros. It is published by the Deutsche Liga für das Kind in Familie und Gesellschaft e.V., the Deutscher Kinderschutzbund e.V. and the Verband alleinerziehender Mütter und Väter e.V.