The home is the most important place in a child's life. Everything can be shaken up when parents separate. For children, this is often accompanied by anxiety, sadness, uncertainty and lots of questions. It is important that the well-being of your child is the main focus, even in the event of a separation. In North Rhine-Westphalia, numerous advice centers offer advice and help on how you can continue to be there for your child.

When familiar family life breaks up, it is a drastic life change for children - regardless of the age at which they experience the separation. A permanent separation triggers strong feelings and often has far-reaching consequences for the future:

• Almost all children experience feelings such as sadness, anger and fear in this situation.
• Not infrequently, children develop feelings of guilt about being (partly) responsible for the separation.
• Domestic separation, combined with the dual household management, can lead to financial restrictions that also put a strain on the children.
• A possible change of residence means that children have to cope with a move to a new environment and may also have to get used to a different daycare center or school.
• For children, separation often means that they see one of their parents less often.

Children often react very strongly to the separation of their parents. The signs that your child is suffering can vary greatly:

• The child withdraws, is introverted, becomes silent, is often sad and hardly ever laughs.
• They have trouble sleeping.
• They are anxious, cling to their parents and want them together all the time.
• They feel guilty.
• They have difficulties at school, their grades drop.
• They no longer want to meet up with friends.

But: Every child reacts differently depending on their age and development. Even if your child may not visibly show their feelings to the outside world, they can still suffer from the situation.

Approach your child if you have the feeling that they are not feeling well and be there for them. Talk to them openly about the situation and any worries and fears. Do not hesitate to make use of support or counseling services, e.g. family counseling.

Children have the right to both parents. Conversely, this also applies to parents, regardless of whether they are married or not:

• Both parents have the right to see their child.
• Be fair, look for an amicable and child-friendly solution to problems, even if you as parents find it difficult to talk to each other.
• Keep in touch, divide tasks responsibly.
• Make sure that one parent is not only responsible for everyday life and the other for great leisure activities.