Money must not be a taboo subject

Young couples talk to each other about all sorts of things: their dreams, plans for the future, a home together or their desire to have children. But one topic is often left out: Money. Many couples find it difficult to talk about finances, even though money plays such a big role in everyday life. Find out why it's so important to talk about finances and how to talk about it in a relaxed way if you want to be on equal terms.

At the beginning of a relationship, in love and with butterflies in your stomach, money seems to have nothing to do with the love affair. Everyone is on their best behavior, wants to please their partner and radiate harmony. The topic of finances doesn't fit into the picture at all.

But why is that actually the case? Because it's considered unromantic to talk about money? Because love is above all else? Because we were raised not to talk about money? Or because the topic of finances can quickly lead to arguments?

Money plays a major role in almost all areas of life. "Do we go out for a fancy meal with friends at the weekend or do we prefer to cook at home?", "Will we have enough money for that long-awaited long-distance trip or would we rather go on vacation on the German coast?", "How do we split the running costs for rent, food, drinks, etc.?" are just a few examples from everyday life in a relationship.

Financial issues also affect long-term decisions, for example when it comes to family planning or the division of paid work and care work once children are born. Talking openly about finances creates the basis for a trusting, fair and equal partnership.

A relationship at eye level is about sharing responsibilities and rights fairly. This also applies to the basic handling of money.

• Whether it's about splitting the rent or the cost of joint activities - open discussions ensure that no one feels disadvantaged.
• Income differences in a couple's relationship are not uncommon. Is it split 50/50 or does the person who earns more take on a higher share of the expenses? This topic should also be on the table so that you can negotiate solutions together on how you want to deal with it as a couple.
• Only if both of you talk about your financial wishes and priorities can long-term plans such as major purchases, buying a house or family planning be approached realistically.

If couples don't talk about money, unspoken expectations and misunderstandings can put a strain on the relationship, even if they are barely noticeable at first:

• Without clear agreements, conflicts about everyday spending can become a recurring topic of argument - for example, when one person saves diligently while the other spends generously on consumer goods and personal desires.
• If one partner hides financial problems or covers up higher expenses, trust in the relationship is quickly destroyed as soon as the truth comes to light.
• If debts grow unspoken, this not only puts a strain on the relationship, but can also ruin the partner financially.
• If couples don't talk about their finances, they miss the opportunity to define common financial goals - from dream vacations to family planning to retirement planning. And may then discover far too late that they have completely different ideas about the future.
• Without clear agreements and financial arrangements, a separation can lead to financial disadvantages for the lower-earning partner. This is another reason why financial compensation agreements are important.

Don't be afraid to talk about money. Such a conversation doesn't have to be unpleasant or conflict-laden. The more often you bring up the subject of finances, the more natural it will become to talk about it. These tips can help to get the conversation started:

With a positive attitude and openness, the money discussion becomes a constructive exchange instead of a burden.

It is particularly important for women to address the issue of money at an early stage - especially when it comes to planning a family. In addition to all the joy, the decision to have children also brings a new division of paid work and care work into the couple's relationship. This can have long-term financial consequences for the parent who limits their professional activity - and this is often the mother.

Dare to break taboos and approach conversations about money openly. Negotiating financial issues in a relationship is not a necessary evil, but an opportunity to strengthen the partnership. Addressing the topic early on promotes an equal relationship. Even if the topic may seem uncomfortable at first, it's worth taking the step: decisions made together create a stable basis for a fair relationship.