Stress and pressure to perform in adolescence
What is wrong with my child? They are unable to concentrate, can't fall asleep at night, often complain of headaches or stomach aches and seem listless. Stress has many faces. It is not always easy for parents - and also for the children themselves - to recognize what is behind it. This article provides information on the triggers and symptoms of stress as well as effective strategies to combat it.
Not every type of stress is harmful. We distinguish between two types of stress:
Stress levels increase significantly in adolescence compared to the first few years of life. Increasing demands at school, changes during puberty and false expectations of one's own body image, stressful experiences at school or events such as parental separation are often triggers for stress symptoms in adolescents.
There are biological reasons for a stress reaction. In a challenging situation, the body releases hormones that enable a spontaneous fight or flight response: Breathing becomes faster, blood pressure rises, blood flow to the muscles increases, digestion is delayed and sensitivity to pain decreases. However, if the alarm situation does not pass noticeably, hormone production remains at full speed. This can lead to various physical symptoms such as nervousness and restlessness, abdominal pain or headaches, sleep disorders, aggressive behavior, irritability and listlessness.
Persistent stress leads to a vicious circle: if you are nervous or listless, have a headache or stomach ache, you are less able to concentrate and your performance is impaired.
If your child writes a class assignment or takes an exam in this state, they will most likely not be able to reach their full potential. A poor result in turn reduces their self-esteem and increases their fear of failing again next time.
If you notice one or two symptoms of stress in your child, you should take time for a calm discussion. Try to find out whether your observations are correct and what could be triggering the stress:
Try to help your child gently. First of all, it is important that you do not reprimand poor performance, but show understanding and provide encouragement. Show your child that their well-being comes first. Together you can consider how you can reduce the stress. This may require a discussion with your child's teacher. Do not hesitate to seek medical advice or psychological support. Realize that you yourself are a role model for how your child deals with stress. Model composure and don't immediately see defeats as disasters.
These tips can have a supportive effect in times of emotional stress and promote the ability to relax:
There are many online guides and various free apps that provide free meditation, relaxation and mindfulness exercises to help you get through everyday life more relaxed and mentally stronger. Some apps also offer special content for children and young people to help them cope with stress.
From yoga and tai chi to meditation: most health insurance companies teach methods for relaxation techniques that have a positive effect on physical health - they often even subsidize participation in prevention courses. Ask your health insurance provider whether prevention courses are offered for stress reduction or for learning relaxation techniques and how much they are subsidized.
If you notice that the psychological stress is too high and your child's well-being is severely impaired, it may make sense to seek professional help. For example, from specialists, child and adolescent psychologists, psychotherapists or specialized clinics:
On the website of the German Society for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Psychosomatics and Psychotherapy, you will find a search function for clinics in your area under "Care services".
The Federal Association of Child and Adolescent Psychotherapists also offers a search service on its website.
You can take advantage of parent counseling free of charge at any time. Contact details can be found here on Familienportal.NRW.
Contact points for children and young people:
Young people can find experienced advisors at the bke youth counseling service who can offer support and help
The Nummer gegen Kummer can be reached on 0800 1110333 and 116111.
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