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School problems
How can I support and strengthen my child?
Problems at school: What now?
Sooner or later, they crop up in almost every family: Problems at school. Does your child possibly have difficulties with classmates or poor grades? As a parent, you naturally want to help in this situation. Find out here what you can do to strengthen your child.
Poor grades
Poor grades at school are not nice. Certainly not for your child, because it is a huge blow to their self-esteem. Nor for parents, who are often at a loss. Show your child that you still love them and that your love does not depend on their grades. Look for the causes together and find out how any learning gaps can be closed quickly. Involve your child's teachers, as they can also provide you with valuable support.
How can we support our child with learning problems?
You may still remember your own school days. You probably weren't equally good in all subjects either. Learn to accept that your child may have difficulties in some areas of school at times. Stay positive and let your child know that it is possible to catch up.
Don't scold your child if they come home with a bad grade. Pressure and coercion are not helpful when it comes to learning; a relaxed and motivating atmosphere is much better. Signal that you will provide your child with all the help they need to learn.
It is important that your child has a sense of achievement even with small learning steps. Your child needs a lot of encouragement now, especially if they are frustrated with learning. When practising with your child, start with easy tasks and only slowly increase the difficulty of the exercises.
Even if the learning backlog is large, divide the material to be caught up on into short blocks. If your child learns for 15 minutes five times a week, more material will stick in their memory than if they learn for an hour once a week.
Draw up a learning plan with short, clear goals. Only ever focus on the next milestone. If you want too much at once, your learning goal will be jeopardized and your motivation will quickly suffer.
Find out when your child can concentrate best. Do they prefer to study in the afternoon and then go and play? Or do they need some exercise after school and the time after dinner is better suited for an extra study session?
Find out what type of learner your child is. Some children learn fastest by reading aloud, others by listening and listening, others by speaking and explaining or by writing. Make learning posters and flashcards together with your child.
Discuss the learning problems with your child and the teacher. Clarify where exactly the learning deficits lie and ask for recommendations on how these can best be remedied from the teacher's point of view.
Learning together with parents can quickly lead to arguments and frustration within the family. It is then more advisable to make up for learning gaps with tutoring. Ask the teacher or put a notice on the school notice board. An older pupil at the same school (two to three years above your child) knows exactly what is required and can provide targeted support. Another tip: Don't wait too long. Learning deficits can be made up most quickly if you react at the first signs. Find out whether tutoring can be funded via the education and participation package, for example. You can find more information here in the family portal.
Exam anxiety
If your child has problems with the class test despite a good preparation phase, they may be suffering from test anxiety. This can manifest itself in exam preparation, but also very specifically in the exam situation. For example, in the event of a blackout, your child will suddenly no longer be able to remember the entire subject matter, even if they have studied and understood it. Targeted breathing and relaxation exercises can help. Simulate exam situations at home in preparation for the class test. A good tip is also to tackle the easy tasks first, which calms the nerves. For parents: consciously take the pressure off to perform!
If you suspect something like this, talk to the class teacher or guidance counselor. In some cases, it may also be useful to seek external advice, e.g. from the local school psychological advice center or therapeutic help.
Does your child have a reading/spelling disability (dyslexia) or dyscalculia? Or do you suspect it? Discuss the next steps with your child's school. Your child's teachers can discuss specific support options with you. Special learning aids are often offered at school. And if this is not enough, the school can refer your child to extracurricular services.
Stress with the teacher
Does your child feel unfairly treated by the biology teacher or never get a turn with the math teacher? This can quickly bring motivation down. A clarifying conversation between parents and child with the teacher often helps to clear up misunderstandings.
Behavioral problems
Is your child a troublemaker in class, refuses to learn or has difficulty attending school regularly? There can be many reasons for conspicuous behavior. Perhaps your child is underchallenged or bored, can't concentrate or is being attacked by classmates? Find out why your child is reacting this way. In addition to talking to teachers, it may be useful to involve the school social worker or the school psychologist. There are not always simple answers to such complex questions. Let your child know that you are there for them.
Bullying and exclusion
Is your child being excluded or bullied at school? Whatever the reasons behind it, as parents you should take consistent action. Be sure to involve the school and contact the class teacher or the school's counseling team. Your child needs a lot of attention and support at this time. You can find more information specifically about bullying here.
Further informationLinks to read more
If you have persistent problems, you can make use of school psychological counseling centers free of charge. They are available throughout North Rhine-Westphalia, you can find your advice center at www.schulpsychologie.nrw.de
People who are angry about their report card and are worried about their future at school can contact the report card hotline. The specialists answer legal questions about grading and school law. They can also advise you on how to proceed with your school career in the future. The advice is confidential and free of charge. The district government answers questions from the following school types: Realschule, Gymnasium, Gesamtschule, Sekundarschule, Gemeinschaftsschule and Berufskolleg. For questions relating to primary, secondary modern and special schools, the report telephone at the respective school authorities of the independent towns and districts is responsible. The school psychological counseling centers also offer competent help. Information on the advice centers is available from the local school authorities or on the Internet.
