Strengthening children

Growing up means constantly taking on new challenges, having positive experiences, but also failing sometimes, getting up again and coping with the odd defeat. As a parent, it is only natural that you want to protect your child from negative experiences as much as possible. However, you won't always be able to protect them from the odd injury. Read here how you can strengthen your child so that they can cope with difficult situations in a positive way.

A child's self-esteem refers to the perception of their own value as an individual with their own characteristics. Self-confidence refers to trust in one's own skills and abilities. Children with strong self-esteem and self-confidence can face challenges more easily. They find it easier to build relationships with other people and are less likely to be victims of bullying.

They are also less likely to develop addictive behavior as teenagers. As a parent, you can help your child to build self-esteem and self-confidence. The foundation is a good relationship. Here's what you can do from day one:

A good relationship between parent and child requires time for conversations at eye level and joint activities. Treat your child with respect and appreciation: listen carefully when they tell you something. If you are distracted, for example by your cell phone, make your child feel unimportant. Take your child's thoughts and feelings seriously and encourage them to talk about them. This also means that your child learns to set boundaries themselves.

The path to independence is a long learning process involving many small steps that begins in early childhood. If you give your child responsibility appropriate to their age, they will become braver and more independent every time they master something on their own. Enable your daughter or son to have such empowering experiences.

Even adults know the good feeling of having achieved something themselves. That's why you should let your child do everything they can without help - even if you find it difficult to let go or something doesn't work straight away or perhaps takes longer. It is important that your child can have their own experiences!

Children want recognition. Praise makes them proud and encourages them to take the next step. So don't skimp on genuine praise when your child makes an effort, but don't overdo it. Here you will find expert tips from educators on how, for what and when you should praise your child:

While proper praise helps your child to grow into a confident and curious person, insincere, exaggerated or manipulative praise can have negative consequences:

• False praise makes children dependent on the opinions of others. This is because children who are constantly praised for things that are taken for granted feel rejected when the praise fails to materialize.
• Too much praise can put your child under unnecessary pressure and lead to exaggerated performance thinking. It can lead to your child thinking that they are only loved if they perform in a certain way.
• Excessive praise harbors another danger: it can lead to overestimation, for example when parents constantly praise their child as smarter, more beautiful or more talented.

Some parents tend to look at their child critically and focus on what they can't (yet) do. It is better to focus on your child's strengths instead. You should encourage these strengths. Perhaps your daughter likes sports or your son loves music? Then see if they can develop their talent even better in a sports club or music school. Every (partial) success, no matter how small, brings moments of happiness and boosts self-esteem. You should use criticism sparingly and keep the following in mind:

• Always criticize an issue, but never your child as a person.
• Avoid generalizations such as "You're always late", "You never tidy your room". Better is: "I worry if you don't call if you're late", or: "It's dangerous if I trip over the toys lying around".
• Stay calm and matter-of-fact.
• Never punish your child by withdrawing love!

No matter what has happened: let your child know that they can always come to you and that you will support them unconditionally.

Don't protect your child from difficult situations and negative feelings. Instead, give them comfort and encouragement. This will help your child learn to deal with the odd setback more easily. Encourage them to try again, even if the first attempt has failed. Every crisis that is overcome positively helps to develop inner strength and take on new challenges.