Strengthen children

Growing up - that means constantly taking on new challenges, having positive experiences, but also failing sometimes, getting back up and coping with the odd defeat. It is quite natural that you as a mother and father want to protect your child from negative experiences as far as possible. However, you won't always be able to protect him or her from one bruise or another. Read here how to strengthen your child so that he or she can cope with difficult situations in a positive way.

A child's self-esteem refers to the perception of his or her own worth as an individual with his or her characteristics. Self-confidence refers to the trust in one's own competencies and abilities. Children with strong self-esteem and self-confidence can face challenges more easily. They find it easier to build relationships with others and are less likely to be victims of bullying.

They are also less likely to run the risk of developing addictive behavior later on as teenagers. As a parent, you can help your child build self-esteem and self-confidence. The foundation is a good relationship. Here's what you can do for this from day one:

• Always respond to your child in an open and approachable way. Try to understand his or her needs. Convey recognition and security to your child through attention, physical contact and language.
• Also fixed and recurring rituals provide security. Routine creates orientation. Loving rituals such as reading aloud or singing in the evening strengthen trust and your relationship.
• When your child feels your attention, he develops trust in himself and the world. The feeling of security and support from parents is the best prerequisite for a healthy self-confidence.

A good relationship between parents and child requires time for conversations at eye level and joint activities. Treat your child with respect and appreciation: listen attentively when he or she tells you something. If you are distracted on the side, for example by the cell phone, make your child feel unimportant. Take your child's thoughts and feelings seriously and encourage him or her to talk about them. This also includes helping your child learn to set boundaries himself.

The path to independence is a long learning process in many small steps that begins in early childhood. If you give your child responsibility appropriate to his or her age, he or she will become more courageous and independent every time he or she masters something on his or her own. Enable your daughter or son to have such empowering experiences.

Even adults know the good feeling of having accomplished something themselves. Therefore, you should let your child do everything he or she can do without help - even if it's hard for you to let go, or something doesn't work right away or may take longer. It is important that your child can make his own experiences!

Children want recognition. Praise makes them proud and spurs them on to take the next step. So don't skimp on genuine praise when your child makes an effort at something, but don't overdo it. Here are expert tips from educators about how, for what, and when to praise your child:

While proper praise helps your child grow into a confident and curious person, insincere, exaggerated, or manipulative praise can have negative consequences:

• False praise makes you dependent on the opinions of others. This is because children who are constantly praised for things they take for granted feel rejected when the praise fails to materialize.
• Too much praise can put your child under unnecessary pressure and lead to an exaggerated sense of achievement. It can lead to your child thinking that he or she is only loved if he or she performs a certain way.
• Too effusive praise carries another danger: it can lead to overestimation of oneself, for example, when parents constantly single out their child as smarter, more beautiful or more talented.

Some parents tend to look critically at their child and focus on what he or she can't do (yet). It is better to focus your attention on your child's strengths instead. You should encourage these strengths. Maybe your daughter likes sports or your son loves music? Then see if he can develop his talent even better in a sports club or music school. Every (partial) success, no matter how small, brings moments of happiness and strengthens self-esteem. You should deal with criticism sparingly and keep the following in mind:

• Always criticize a fact, but never your child as a person.
• Avoid generalizations such as "You're always late," "You never clean your room." Better is, "I worry when you don't call if you're late," or, "It's dangerous when I trip over the toys lying around."
• Stay calm and matter-of-fact.
• Never punish your child with love withdrawal!

No matter what has happened: convey to your child that he may always come to you and that you will support him unconditionally.

Don't protect your child from difficult situations and negative feelings. Instead, give him comfort and encouragement. This will help your child learn to deal with one or two setbacks more easily. Encourage them to try again, even if the first attempt failed. Every crisis that is overcome positively helps to develop inner strength and to accept new challenges.