Pregnant under 20

Suddenly unplanned pregnant? And at 15, 17 or 19? A contraceptive mishap can happen - despite being informed. And it's not as rare as you might think. But if the initial suspicion turns into certainty, it is usually a big shock for young girls who are still half a child themselves. This is when understanding advice and professional support are needed above all. And you can get this from many sources.

It's completely normal to panic when you receive a positive pregnancy test and feel completely overwhelmed. What should you do now? What should you do next? You probably have a thousand questions buzzing around in your head, even though you can't think straight.

Who can you talk to about your questions, doubts and worries? With your parents, boyfriend or girlfriend? If you feel inhibited about confiding in your family during the initial shock, contact a pregnancy advice center near you or the "Pregnant women in need - anonymous & safe" hotline. Here you will find experienced people who will listen to you with understanding and can provide you with professional support. They know exactly how you are feeling in this situation and will inform you about all the options you need to make a good decision about your future. You can discuss what is bothering you in this situation in complete confidentiality and free of charge.

The central help hotline 0800 40 40 020 can be a first point of contact.

Here you can find more information about this counseling service

After the initial shock, you need to think about what the next steps might be. You're probably asking yourself a lot of questions:

• Can I take on the huge responsibility of having a baby now?
• Who can support me?
• What will happen to my plans for the future now?
• How can a child be reconciled with school, training or planned studies?
• What is the father-to-be's attitude towards the child?
• And how is it all going to be financed?

Questions upon questions that need to be carefully considered and weighed up if you want to make such a far-reaching decision for or against the baby.

You alone can and must make a decision about the future. This is not easy and involves a lot of responsibility. A baby needs a lot of love, attention, time and energy, despite all the joy about the little being. Neutral advice at the pregnancy advice center is a great help. The experienced specialists will give you all the information you need about support services to make a well-considered, independent decision. Online counseling is also possible. Good to know: Even if you are still a minor, you can seek advice without your parents' knowledge. Incidentally, counseling is always subject to confidentiality and is absolutely free of charge for you. This means that no one really needs to know what you discuss there.

In North Rhine-Westphalia, you can get unbureaucratic advice from over 200 pregnancy advice centers. You can use this search to find a pregnancy advice center in your area.

Advice centers also support you with

• applying for financial aid
• looking for accommodation
• problems at work or training
• looking for childcare for the expected child

You should take advantage of the offer of a consultation as early as possible. If you decide to terminate your pregnancy, this is only possible up to the 12th week of pregnancy under certain conditions. In this case, a consultation is mandatory.

Whether the father of the child is your friend, a party acquaintance or a guy from your clique: he has a right to know about the baby news. Even if you are planning to terminate the pregnancy, you should tell him. If you find it difficult to talk to him alone, it can be helpful to have the conversation together at a counseling center. Here you will receive professional support to clarify the situation and formulate your wishes, fears and hopes.

And in the event that the father doesn't want to know anything about the issue and leaves you alone in this crisis, focus entirely on what is best for you and your baby. If you have any questions about custody, maintenance payments and care, you can get support from the youth welfare office later on.

Information specifically for (expectant) fathers can be found on the fathers' portal of the state of North Rhine-Westphalia.

North Rhine-Westphalia is a child-friendly state. A decision for or against having a baby should not depend on money. You can be sure: If you decide to have a child, there are a number of financial aids that you can take advantage of.

Among other things, the federal foundation "Mother and Child" supports pregnant women in emergency situations quickly and unbureaucratically. Among other things, the foundation helps financially with the purchase of maternity clothing, initial equipment for the child, home furnishings and the care of the infant, for example in order to be able to complete an education.

• Maternity allowance
• Parental allowance
• Child benefit, Kinderzuschlag
• Kinderkrankengeld
• Wohngeld
• Unterhalt and Unterhaltsvorschuss
• Leistungen für education and participation
• tax relief for families

You can also get advice on financial aid from the youth welfare office or pregnancy advice center.