Parental leave for fathers

If you approach your boss with a strong will, you will be able to appear confident and convincing in the interview. "The boss's comments are often aimed at finding out how serious the employee actually is about their parental leave," explains Hans-Georg Nelles. "Sometimes games are played. But if someone makes it clear that they are serious, the boss and employee often come to a mutually acceptable conclusion in the end." That's why you should talk to your line manager as early as possible.

In legal terms, however, Nelles points out that this tip is problematic, as an expectant father is only protected against dismissal eight weeks before taking parental leave, but must announce his decision at least seven weeks before the start of the leave.

This means you are only legally protected for one week. "That's very unfortunate," says the organizational consultant. That's why he advises asking around the company beforehand to find out which fathers have had which experiences in the past and what the boss thinks about parental leave.

After all, your line manager is primarily concerned with keeping the company running. So if you give your boss the feeling that you are not simply disappearing, but are acting responsibly, you have already gained a lot. In concrete terms, this means that as an expectant father you should make suggestions as to how the work you are doing can be continued, especially in the areas of your own core competence. And: If you are planning a longer parental leave, you can continue to take on a proportion of the hours with the help of ElterngeldPlus.

"Taking these worries away from your boss is important - for you too," explains Hans-Georg Nelles, "because then you don't lose touch and stay on the ball."

If the boss still makes trouble, you should give them time to adjust to the new situation, advises Nelles. Of course, this is only possible if you have sought a conversation early on. Only then can you say: "Okay, we'll talk about it again later" as soon as the dust has settled. And if nothing helps? Then you should simply ignore the stupid comments and try to concentrate on the upcoming parental leave adventure, advises the expert.

The basic prerequisite and first step is to discuss the distribution of tasks with your partner. A day with a toddler has many facets and does not follow a fixed structure. As a father-to-be, you should have the confidence to improvise a little if you want to juggle diapers, baby food and onesies. If this is the case, talk to your partner as early as possible and clarify: "How do we envisage our division of tasks?"

Your partner may have reservations about the idea of you staying at home with the children for longer. "I experience this time and again," says Hans-Georg Nelles, "that fathers tell me they didn't dare to oppose it and then just settled for two months' parental leave and the breadwinner role.

This makes it all the more important to clarify the division of roles and expectations with each other. In such a discussion, you as the expectant mother and father can negotiate your ideas with each other and also clarify the financial responsibilities.