Marriage and family counseling

Problems in the partnership

Relationship crisis - save or break up?

Conflicts are part of everyday life in any relationship. Ups and downs are quite normal and occur in all partnerships. It becomes difficult when couples are unable to talk to each other about their own needs, pent-up frustration or possible disappointments.

If everyday life is increasingly characterized by disputes or you feel that you are distancing yourself further and further from your partner, then professional marriage and family counseling can be a helpful support. There are free counseling services offered by the state and churches that you can turn to.

Giving the partnership a chance: When counseling can help

A partnership means ongoing relationship work. Especially when the children are still small, everyday life is often exhausting: too much work and too many obligations, too little time for hobbies, friends and pleasure. And often too little time for togetherness. This puts every couple relationship to the test.

Typical signs of relationship conflicts can include. be:

Fights and frequent quarrels over trifles
Feelings such as frustration, disappointment, anger and injustice
Retreatment of one or both partners
A lack of willingness to talk
Little communication between the couple.

If it no longer goes well over a long period of time, there is a need for action. This does not always have to mean separation. Some couples simply need to learn to talk to each other again, really listen to each other and understand each other's needs. Perhaps the necessities of everyday life have just made you forget what it is that binds you together. It can be well worth it to give the partnership a chance to find out where it hangs and what ways there are to give the relationship a good basis again.

Marriage and family counseling can help couples improve their relationships and resolve conflicts. The trained professionals offer support in overcoming challenges and problems that can build up over time in a relationship or in a family.

The counseling offer can be helpful in various life situations, for example in:

Difficulties in communicating with each other
Conflicts in the partnership
Conflicts in the family
Problems in dealing with the children
Stressful life events such as illness or loss of a loved one.

On their own, conflict-laden issues are usually difficult to clarify. All too quickly, there is the danger of finding themselves again in the entrenched dispute patterns. With the guidance of a trained professional, experience has shown that it is easier to address difficult issues. Seeking support from a marriage and family counseling center can be a good first step in getting back into the conversation.

This is what you can expect in marriage and family counseling

Marriage and family counseling is usually provided by qualified professionals such as psychologists, social workers, or couple and family therapists.

Dare to take the first step
You have the choice whether you want to be supported alone at first or also as a couple. You can take advantage of counseling in person, by telephone or online. The counseling offered in public counseling centers is free of charge, neutral and subject to confidentiality.
Record the need for consulting
In the consultation, you can calmly tell how you feel about your situation. Together with the specialist, you can consider what the next steps could be.
Analyze the situation together
If you come to counseling as a couple, each parent can first present their own view of the situation. The counseling specialist will make sure that this takes place calmly. Then it will be necessary to clarify who has what needs. Together, it can be discussed whether and how the different wishes for life together can be brought back together.
Work out solutions
You may find out that it is no longer possible together. Then the steps and consequences of a separation can be clarified. If violence against you or your child plays a role, the counseling staff will look for safe solutions with you.
Accompany further steps
If you feel overwhelmed, just can't take it anymore and need to get out of the situation first thing, the counseling center can look at a time-out option.

Procedure of the consultation

Good advice is always open-ended. The people seeking advice alone determine where the journey goes. They are not pushed in any direction.

First you make an appointment, either online or by phone.
In the initial meeting, you explain what your concern is. Together you find out what expectations you have of the consultation.
You agree with the specialist the framework about goals, ways and desired results of the counseling process.
Counseling sessions for a single person usually last 50 minutes, couple counseling 90 minutes.
The duration and frequency of counseling depend on the individual needs and goals of those involved. The rotation can be weekly, bi-weekly or tri-weekly.
The duration of the consultation also varies. Sometimes only one conversation is enough. Mostly, however, a consultation lasts several months.

Where can we find help and advice?

Using the search engine on the portal of the German Working Group for Youth and Marriage Counseling e.V. you can find counseling services in your area. Enter your place of residence and determine your focus of counseling, for example, whether it is about a general marriage or couples counseling or counseling because of a violence problem.

You can also find local counseling centers through the Protestant church. Via the page of the Diakonie you can find out where there is an offer in your area.

In addition to direct counseling, the Catholic Church also offers online counseling. On the Internet page of Caritas you can choose accordingly which form suits you more.