Ways out of grief
When a parent passes away, the bereaved family faces a very difficult time - from their own grief and dealing with the new life situation to grief counseling and sole responsibility for children. The new role of "widowed single parent" demands a great deal of strength and energy. However, there are ways in which those affected can find emotional support to give them new hope for a life worth living.
Suddenly completely responsible for everything
The early loss of a loved one is an unimaginably heavy blow, especially when the children are still young. "It shattered me," reports Katja K. "Everything is different, nothing is the same anymore: I was overcome by a feeling of being completely overwhelmed by the fact that I was suddenly completely responsible for everything on my own," says the widowed single parent, whose children were 3 and 6 years old at the time of her husband's death. She fought her way out of despair with the help of professional grief counseling and says in retrospect: "Good grief counseling is worth its weight in gold, and the exchange with people in a similar situation also did me good. I don't know if I would have made it without professional help from outside". Five years later, the grief is still there, but in a different way than before. Katja K. is grateful for the support she received in the first few months of being alone. Especially from family members, but also from friends and neighbors who sometimes stood outside the door with soup for lunch, took over driving duties or took the children on a nice outing on Sundays. "It's the small gestures that make a big difference," says Katja K., appreciating this pragmatic help. "Maybe I should have taken advantage of grief counseling," she says. The costs are covered by health insurance. But she has not yet taken advantage of this offer. Instead, she has attended a guided grief weekend privately with her children. "That was a particularly helpful experience for my children. They were able to talk to people their own age whose dad is no longer there either."
And today? "It took a long time to get out of the slump," says Katja, describing her situation. "But now I'm looking forward again, I'm more forward-looking and I think we've found a way to deal with fate as a family."
Tips for dealing with grief
Find out here what helps to get out of deep grief and which contact points provide widowed single parents with advice and support.
Where can I find help and advice?
In the difficult time following the loss of a partner, it is important to know that you are not alone. There are many places that can help you as a widowed single parent or widowed single parent with advice and support - be it in coping with grief, support with family organization or with legal and financial issues. Here you will find some contact points for grief counselling that can help you during this challenging time:
Bundesverband Trauerbegleitung: This organization provides information, offers and directories of grief counsellors and self-help groups.
Caritas Bereavement Counseling: Caritas offers both telephone counseling and one-on-one sessions to help people through their grief.
Psychological counselling and therapy: You can search for therapists who specialize in grief work on the website of the Kassenärztliche Bundesvereinigung.
Phone counseling: You can call the toll-free numbers 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222 around the clock to talk to someone who can help you in moments of despair or grief.
The local associations of the Verband allein erziehender Mütter und Väter in NRW (VAMV) offer comprehensive advice on being a single parent and financial support. There are also discussion groups and other group activities. You can find contact addresses via the local search on the VAMV website.
The Order of St. John offers grief counseling specifically for children and young people. There are counseling centers and therapists who deal with the special grief of children and adolescents.
Social counseling from Arbeiterwohlfahrt (AWO): In many regions, AWO offers free counseling when it comes to social benefits, pension entitlements and other financial matters.
Further advice and contact points in your area can also be found via the Familienlotsen here on Familienportal.NRW.
Further information Links to read more
