Help, our relationship is about to end!
A separation has many consequences
When the dream of family happiness is shattered and the relationship falls apart, it is not uncommon for this to be associated with an emotional rollercoaster ride. Perhaps you ask yourself whether anything can still be salvaged? Or how things should continue if you draw a line in the sand and go your separate ways? Despite the emotional chaos and state of emergency, you should think through the consequences of a separation objectively and calmly and include all important aspects in your considerations early on.
Stay or go?
No one breaks up with their partner that easily. This is often preceded by many arguments, fierce conflicts and hurt feelings. If there is ultimately no chance of reconciliation or you can no longer imagine a future together with your partner, a separation is inevitable. In this case, it is also not a good idea to hold on to the relationship because of the children. After all, ongoing arguments between the parents may put more strain on the children than a separation. If you have decided to separate, this means the dissolution of your cohabitation, with all the consequences for the partners, the children, the finances and the previous center of life.
Where can we find help and advice?
Trustworthy friends and family members are an important source of emotional support and empathetic discussion partners in a time of crisis such as a separation. However, it often helps to talk about certain topics with a neutral counselor. There is a wide range of help available for people in a separation situation. In North Rhine-Westphalia, you will find many contact points to clarify your emotional, legal and financial issues.
- If your marriage is in crisis, you can turn to marriage, family and life counseling centers. The qualified counselors will work with you to find ways out of the crisis. Psychosocial life counseling in the separation phase is offered by many state and church organizations, for example Caritas, Pro Familia, Diakonie or the Paritätischer Wohlfahrtsverband. This help is free of charge. Contact addresses can be found on the Internet or in the city address book.
- The Youth Welfare Office is an important point of contact for all questions relating to your underage children. In crisis situations, you are entitled to free advice.
- For questions about legal, organizational and financial issues, you can contact local marriage and family advice centres. You can find contact details via the "Counseling Guide online" of the German Association for Youth and Marriage Counseling (www.dajeb.de).
- In North Rhine-Westphalia, there is also a hotline for single parents at the Association of Single Mothers and Fathers NRW on 0201 82774-799.
- If the separation throws you personally completely off course and you find it difficult to cope with the new life change, you have physical complaints or feel depressed, it is important to seek professional help in a psychological or psychotherapeutic practice. It is best to contact your family doctor to obtain a referral.
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