Time for two

A baby turns the world upside down. As soon as it is born, the course of the day and night is primarily based on the newborn's rhythm. Sleepless nights are the rule rather than the exception. It is completely normal for togetherness to take a back seat during this time. After the first few turbulent weeks and months, the new parents have to recapture their sense of togetherness as a couple.

In the first few weeks with a baby, the euphoria about the little miracle for which you as parents are now responsible prevails. But the first year of having a baby can also be extremely stressful. The organization of everyday life with all its challenges between job and family leaves little room and energy for time as a couple. Everyday life between parenthood and partnership can quickly become a balancing act. It is therefore particularly important for a good couple's relationship to consciously set aside real, undivided time together and to plan these time slots specifically.

When a couple becomes a small family, it is helpful to be clear about the different roles:

• As parents, both partners now share responsibility for the offspring.
• Both partners remain lovers with expectations of each other.
• Both partners are independent people with their own personal needs.

A permanently happy family life only works if you manage to make time for the couple's love as well as for yourself. It helps to organize such moments wisely so that love is not swallowed up by everyday life. This is not always easy. Sometimes it doesn't work right from the start. Sometimes it may work worse or better in certain phases of the child's development. However, such times will certainly increase again when the child gets a little older.

A loving relationship needs nurturing. This is all the more true when a couple becomes a family. However, organizing time for two is anything but easy with children. Here are some tried-and-tested tips from parents:

• Create free time by looking for help with childcare in between. Whether grandparents, godparents, friends or babysitters: time out from the parental role is important to reconnect as a couple.
• Take responsibility for your personal time out. Your child will only do well in the long term if you are doing well as a couple, but also as independent individuals.
• Create specific time slots for you as a couple in which you consciously slip out of the parental role. Discussions about the child and parenting should be taboo during this time. This works best if you do something together, for example go to the movies, take a dance class or treat yourself to a nice restaurant visit.
• Everyone needs time for themselves. While one parent stays at home with the child, the other can do things that are good for them. Whether it's a round of sport or a coffee with a friend - even small breaks help to get away from everyday life.
• Important: Don't give up straight away if your schedule doesn't work out. Sometimes things just don't work out, your child needs you unexpectedly or you are simply exhausted from the daily grind. A short walk, a relaxing bath or an evening together on the sofa will also give you new energy.

A lot of patience, mutual understanding and tolerance is needed from both sides, especially in the early days, until family life with a child has settled down. However, with composure and a talent for organization, you can also master the first baby year as a couple.

Naturally, the newborn spends a lot of time and physical closeness with the mother at the beginning. Some fathers feel excluded from this, especially in the first few weeks after the birth. After the first few weeks, fathers may feel jealous or disappointed because their partner is devoting all her attention to the baby.

It is important to talk openly about these feelings in the relationship. The father is an important person, especially during this time, who can provide a lot of love and support with everything to do with the baby and the new family routine. He can and should be equally involved in caring for the baby right from the start. By holding the baby, bathing it, playing with it or rocking it to sleep, the emotional relationship is strengthened. This is important for the child's development and actively involves the father. Everyone benefits from this modern role of fatherhood: dad, mom and the baby.