Single parent at birth

Partnership for life - pregnancy - parental happiness: life does not always follow this wishful thinking. Almost every fifth child grows up in a so-called single-parent family. You are pregnant and ask yourself: How will I manage to raise my child alone? Will my strength, my nerves, my money be enough? Then read here what single parents should know.

Doubts and fears about the new stage of life are part of the emotional world of all expectant mothers. For women who are not in a committed relationship, these concerns are usually particularly great. But you should know that you do not have to cope with this difficult situation alone. For single pregnant women, there are numerous counseling and support services as well as financial assistance.

You can find advice and support at pregnancy counseling centers and at the Association of Single Mothers and Fathers in NRW (www.vamv-nrw.de), among other places. There you can find out about help offers, networks and support services at an early stage! Above all, have no inhibitions about accepting help. Without support, single parents can quickly reach their limits. Therefore, pay attention to your physical and mental health from the very beginning. If you are overburdened, not only you suffer, but also your child!

• Let them help you: Don't say no if someone in your friendly neighborhood wants to carry your heavy shopping bags up the stairs. Many people are happy to let you help!
• Contact a midwife early on, who will accompany you during pregnancy, possibly even at birth and in the first weeks with the baby.
• Reserve already in pregnancy fixed "time out" all to yourself and arrange them as it is good for you - for example, with exercise in the fresh air, a meditation or yoga exercises.
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• Inquire about special courses, for example, birth preparation, for single pregnant women in your area. The birth preparation course offers initial points of contact to get to know each other, perhaps you can arrange later once for joint ventures with baby or take turns in childcare. Contacts with other single pregnant women will help you answer questions and create support networks.
• Build a network of people who can support you after the birth. Ask your family and friends who can support you in everyday life, for example, shopping, babysitting or by taking the baby for a walk in the stroller.

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Maybe you even have money worries because you cannot work enough to support your family due to childcare. Even then you are not alone, but can receive state support. In addition to child benefit, this includes, for example, child supplement or housing benefit. If you have a very low income, you can apply for benefits under the Second Social Code and from the education and participation package; exemption from daycare contributions is also possible. If you do not receive any maintenance payments for your child, the youth welfare office will step in with the maintenance advance.

Which birthplace should my child be born at? Clinic, birth center or home birth - these are important topics for all expectant parents. Single pregnant women are also concerned with another question: do I want to give birth to my child alone or in the presence of a trusted person? For example, a good friend or your mother could be at your side. Consider whether and with whom you would like to share this intimate situation and who can best support you.

As a mother who is not married, you have sole custody of your child. Even if nothing (more) connects you both as parents, you should consider: Your child has a right to contact with the other parent - and vice versa, the other parent is entitled and obliged to contact with the child. In case of conflict, the Youth Welfare Office can mediate between the two of you. There you will find experienced professionals who will support you in clarifying questions of custody and maintenance. And who knows - perhaps this will result in an approach from which all parties involved can benefit.