Well organized between family and career

Finding a healthy balance

Many parents feel stressed and under pressure due to high expectations. After all, having children adds many new tasks to the family and household: parenting and childcare are a 24-hour job. After restless nights, it is difficult to concentrate on work. There is often a lack of time for personal downtime, etc. How can you reduce stress factors and achieve a better work-life balance? The following tips can help you to organize your everyday family and work life well.

Redistributing roles

When a working couple become parents, it is important to rethink their roles. Would you both like to continue working - perhaps with reduced hours? Or will one parent mainly look after the children and possibly step back from work? How much care can and would you like to provide yourself, how much external care would you like? You should discuss these questions openly with your partner at an early stage. Because the answers to these questions are individual, but at the same time essential for satisfaction in the new family constellation. Read the article "Division of work in the family" on this topic here on the Familienportal.NRW with tips and food for thought for making arrangements with your partner.

ADJUST WORKING HOURS

After the birth, your child will initially play the leading role around the clock. If you then want to share work and parenting duties with your partner, it is important to adjust to a different rhythm early on. Think about how many hours a week you both want to and can work and discuss this with your employers. Flexible working hours or the option of working from home make it easier to balance family and career. If you work in a company with more than 15 employees, you have a good chance of being able to work part-time.

BUSINESS AND PRIVATE SEPARATION

Even if you want to combine work and family, you should draw clear dividing lines between the two areas. Leave your parental duties at home when you go to work. Your child will be well looked after and you will always be available in a real emergency. If you work at home, you should separate yourself spatially and acoustically. Conversely, the same applies to family time: make it clear to your team, business partners or customers when you are available. Outside of these times, you shouldn't feel guilty if you leave your smartphone to one side and don't answer emails or take calls.

FAMILY CALENDAR: PLANNING WELL IS HALF THE PURPOSE

Do you already use a joint family calendar? It's a good idea to keep a record of all professional and private appointments and make tasks visible to everyone: Toddler group and nursery appointments, later also school appointments, doctor's appointments, music lessons, sports courses, invitations and appointments with friends, etc. Whether you manage your appointments digitally or record them manually on paper is up to you. The important thing is that you write everything down. You will notice that this helps to take the pressure off your busy head.

WEEKLY SCHEDULE: WHO DOES WHAT?

Write down in a plan which household and family tasks need to be done. Discuss together what needs to be done and write down who will take on which of these tasks. It's also best to plan your shopping in advance with the help of a meal plan - either for the whole week or the coming days. This saves time, nerves and money! The weekly plan provides orientation, makes responsibilities visible and helps to distribute tasks fairly. There are now many practical apps for your smartphone or tablet to help you organize your household. Whether tidying up, cleaning, cooking or writing shopping lists together: There is a large selection of digital offerings for planning everyday family life, helping you to keep on top of things at all times.

Daily routine, routine, routine!
Bring structure to your everyday family life. Regular routines take the pressure off you as parents, and your children will benefit too. The following tips have proven their worth in many families:

To avoid stress in the morning, plan a fixed morning routine for getting dressed and having breakfast.

Orientate a fixed routine for putting the children to bed in the evening.

Set the breakfast table in the evening.

Lay out the clothes for the next day in the evening.

Pack the daycare bag with your child the evening before.

Schedule fixed washing or shopping days.

Plan times in your weekly schedule when you deliberately don't plan anything.

Especially important: always make sure you have a time buffer! Because despite the best organization, things rarely go strictly according to plan with children. After all, an injured knee, a lost favorite animal or a sudden fit of defiance can come in between. If you don't need the time buffer: all the better! Then treat yourself to a little time out and take a deep breath.

LEARN TO SAY NO!

Go to the zoo with the kids, meet your friend at the playground, visit the grandparents, bring a salad to a friend's birthday party and there's a parents' evening at nursery too? Sometimes it just gets too much. Those who rush from appointment to appointment often feel stressed. It's better to set priorities. Weigh up what and how much is good for you and when appointments and commitments become too much. Many people find it difficult to say "no", but sometimes it just has to be done. And it can be learned: you'll see that saying no will be much easier next time.

ACCEPT HELP

The double burden of family and career can be quite exhausting in the long run. Let someone help you! Take up the offer of family members, a friend or neighbor and give yourself a break from time to time. Family sponsorships also offer support. This early help service provides trained volunteers who give young parents with children aged between zero and three years predictable breaks for two to four hours a week. And another tip: delegate tasks as far as possible - even if some things may not get done exactly as you would have done them. If the household budget allows, it is helpful to get help with house cleaning or gardening. You can claim the costs for this against tax.

BUILDING A NETWORK

If your child falls ill or you have to work late, you may need help at short notice. Are there people in your circle of friends and family who you can spontaneously ask for support in such an event? Build up a network and make a list of addresses. Parent-child groups, such as those offered by Early Help, are a suitable meeting place to get to know each other, exchange ideas, play together and have fun. The network also includes a reliable babysitter, who you should hire not only in emergencies, but on a regular basis so that you don't miss out on time together. You can find a post worth reading on this topic here on Familienportal.NRW.

NOBODY IS PERFECT!

Farewell perfectionism: lower your personal standards to an unattainable ideal family goal! A frozen meal in between meals can be just as tasty as a home-cooked meal, a dirty car drives just as well as a freshly cleaned one. If the lawn is only mowed every two weeks instead of twice a week, the insects are happy. Family time spent together is more important!

INSTALL SMALL TIME ISLANDS

Yes, being a parent is a turbulent job with an immense workload. This makes self-care all the more important. Make sure you take a little personal time-out every day to recharge your batteries - without feeling guilty. All it takes is 15 minutes a day in which you consciously take care of yourself. You can use this time to exercise in the fresh air, do a few relaxation exercises, listen to music or read your favorite magazine with a delicious cup of tea.

Where can we find help and advice?

There are many support and advice services for families in North Rhine-Westphalia. The family guide at Familienportal.NRW makes it easier to search and find your way around. It will help you quickly and easily find the right offer for you near your place of residence.

You can reach the parents' hotline - a nationwide telephone call, advice and information service - on 0800 111 0 550.

Organization of everyday family life