Quality time with children
Quality time with children: Shared moments in everyday life
What quality time with your child looks like is completely individual: it could be a trip to the swimming pool together, reading stories, working on the bike or playing hide and seek in the park. The term describes the idea of quality time together in which your child feels seen and recognized by you. We have put together some examples of these islands in everyday life for you here.
The essence of quality time is already hidden in the name. It is consciously taking time for joint activities and, above all, undivided attention. Because this is what creates those special moments that intensify the bond with your child. In this way, you convey your love and appreciation to your child.
Even if family life is often hectic and wild, there are always opportunities for quality time in everyday life. And the older your child gets, the more clearly they can articulate their wishes, contribute topics of conversation and help plan joint activities.
Enjoying quality daddy-child time on a regular basis - how does that work?
In this interview, couples and family counselor Achim Schad from Wuppertal gives practical expert tips on how fathers can incorporate quality time with children into their everyday lives. He gives examples of varied activities that many fathers and their children particularly enjoy. He also addresses the question of how fathers can maintain a balance between work and family life.
Small islands in everyday life
Creating an island for quality time sounds time-consuming, as you often lack time anyway? That's understandable! But if you want to do something with your child, it doesn't always have to be an exciting outing. Many everyday situations offer opportunities that you can easily turn into quality time. Do you need ideas? Here are some examples:
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Meals:
Cooking and eating together are always good occasions for open and engaging conversations. Chopping cucumbers and peeling potatoes often makes it easier for older children in particular to start talking.
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Kindergarten or school run:
Singing a song together or shortening the walk with a game creates closeness between you and your child and also puts them in a good mood.
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Putting to bed:
Create a relaxed atmosphere in the children's room in the evening. This will create a good basis for intimate moments. Evening rituals such as a bedtime story, a lullaby or cuddling together are ideal and help your child to fall asleep well.
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Household:
Regular tasks such as a trip to the bottle bank with a short detour to the ice cream parlor or weekend shopping can be a real pleasure for children. Let yourself be infected by children's enthusiasm.
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Gardening:
If available: Get the garden or balcony going together, mow the lawn, clean flower boxes, sweep - you can do all of this together with your children. Perhaps you have the opportunity to grow vegetables together with your child or plant sweet fruit on the balcony and watch the fruit grow.
Between the worlds of work and family
Switching from work to family life doesn't always happen immediately. Therefore, take a moment to clear your head, for example by consciously ending the working day or with a short ritual such as a cup of tea. Your child will notice that you are more attentive afterwards.
What also helps:
- Distraction off, attention on: Try to reduce the use of cell phones, laptops and the like in order to devote yourself to your child and playing or talking together.
- Create a routine for you and your child by setting up fixed times during the week. The main focus here is on the regularity and reliability of time spent together.
- A good opportunity to spend quality time with your child on a regular basis is to do hobbies together. Perhaps your child is already enthusiastic about the hobby you pursue. Or you may be looking for a new hobby that you and your child both enjoy.
Being there every day strengthens the father-child relationship
Intensive time spent together is not only fun, it also connects and strengthens the father-child relationship. Björn Süfke, a men's and fathers' counselor in Bielefeld, adds that this requires continuity as well as quality time together: "The greatest likelihood of bonding moments with the child is when the father is simply there a lot! Whoever receives the children at home after school in the afternoon will logically learn more about their worries and joys of the day, hear more about their feelings, be asked for advice more ... And nothing strengthens the parent-child relationship as much as this everyday 'being there'. So at the end of the day, it's not just about 'quality time', but also about 'quantity time'."
Where can I find help and advice?
If you have any questions, concerns or conflicts, you are welcome to take advantage of the free advice offered by a parent advice center at any time. You will get answers and support there!
In addition to free individual consultations, the bke parent counseling service also offers themed chats for fathers. You can access the topic chats via the bke counseling homepage: www.bke-beratung.de
You can also listen to podcast episode 8 of the bke online counseling on the topic "A good father".
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