Self-discovery
The road to independent living is bumpy
Who am I, what can I do and where do I actually want to go in the future? These are fundamental questions that adolescents between the ages of 16 and 25 deal with intensively. During this phase, young people develop their own identity and worldview and experience their first great love. As parents, you want to support your child as best you can on this turbulent and sometimes challenging path, and you ask yourself the questions: "How can we accompany our child well to promote self-confidence and a positive self-image?" And most importantly, "How do we stay in good communication with each other during this developmental phase?" In this article, learn how you, as a parent, can take a supportive role in helping your child make the transition to adulthood.
Growing up is not complete until the age of 25
At the age of 16 to 25, important developmental steps happen in the body, brain and social life of young adults. It's good for parents to know more about this. So you can better understand and lovingly support your teenager during this challenging time. Young people's brains and bodies undergo massive remodeling during puberty due to hormonal changes. Social maturity is not complete until around age 24 or 25. According to research, the brain is not fully mature until then. And as a rule, it is only then that a young person has found his or her own identity on the path of self-discovery.
The time until then is characterized by the classic questions of self-discovery, such as
Who am I? How am I? How would I like to be? What am I capable of? Where do I want to go? What fulfills me? What can and do I want to achieve in life? Which people belong to me in the process?
Finding simple answers to these questions is not easy for any young person. It is often an emotional roller coaster ride until teenagers have found their role in society and developed their own values and convictions. This developmental phase can be confusing and sometimes frustrating. In addition, as the separation from parents progresses, the circle of friends becomes more important. The first love relationships are formed. In addition, the (approaching) graduation, combined with the time of career orientation.
Many young people are unsure what the right career path might look like. And then the first career aspiration may not turn out to be as fulfilling as hoped, or the heart seems to break at the first big heartbreak.
The family forms an important network during this time, which can convey: "We are always there for you, even if it gets difficult. We'll get through this together, and you can be sure that after every low, things will get better again."
Tips for parents with which you can encourage your child in the search for identity
One thing first: the path to self-discovery into adulthood is unique for every young person. Every teenager has his or her own pace and every development takes its own course. So the best advice - even if it's difficult for many parents - is to "stay calm and trust your child. It will find its way."
With these strategies, you will be a good companion for your child:
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The best thing you can do is to show your child understanding, support and love.
By acknowledging individual challenges and helping your child develop his or her own identity, you lay the foundation for healthy adolescence.
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Accept that your child wants, even needs, to have his or her own experiences in order to find his or her identity.
You can help your child explore his or her interests and strengths by encouraging them to try new things and giving them space to discover themselves. Mistakes can and may happen in the process. This is the only way your child can learn to take responsibility.
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Stay in close communication: Honest and open communication is particularly important in this development phase.
Regularly express your interest and ask about experiences, friendships and experiences related to love without being pushy. The dialogue shows your child that you are there and can give advice if that is desired.
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Talk to your child about feelings, goals, and desires for the future. Ask what is important to your teenager in life.
This helps to gain clarity about your own future. In the discussion, you have the opportunity to provide food for thought again and again, to deal with finding one's identity and one's own wishes and needs.
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Respect your child's privacy.
It is normal if your child does not share everything with you now and has his or her own secrets. By respecting this, you signal that you trust your child.
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Stay patient, even when puberty hormones go crazy again, the tone gets rougher, or the doors rattle.
The emotional mood swings are a normal part of development and the or other verbal attack against the parents usually not meant as it seems at first glance.
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Always encourage your daughter or son to have his or her own opinion, to make his or her own decisions, and to be true to himself or herself without being influenced too much by others.
Especially during puberty, the pressure from the clique of friends grows and some teenagers may mistakenly feel forced to conform to the interests and behaviors of the clique. By instilling self-confidence and self-esteem in your child from an early age, you strengthen their ability to stand up to negative external pressure.
Where can we find help and advice?
In this age phase, young people are particularly at risk of going off the rails at times. Fortunately, the irritations usually disappear again after a shorter period of time. It becomes difficult when an identity crisis develops into a lasting disturbance. Then it can make sense to seek professional help. In North Rhine-Westphalia, there is an extensive network of free counseling centers for parents and adolescents. Contact points and contacts can be found on the Parental counseling - in person, by phone or online page here on the Familienportal.NRW.
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